How to Choose Bridesmaids Without Offending Too Many People

How to Choose Bridesmaids

Without Offending Too Many People

If you are wondering how to choose bridesmaids and avoid angering absolutely every “close” woman to you in your life, then you have definitely come to the right place. You see, we women place an incredible amount of importance on the role of ‘bridesmaid’ and we can easily get offended over the smallest comments.  This makes it especially difficult for any bride-to-be wanting to avoid all of the drama that generally is associated with bridesmaids. Fortunately we’ve got a no drama here guide to help you choose your bridesmaids!

how to choose bridesmaids

Common questions such as often plague brides-to-be when considering who to choose:

  • What if my cousin is not a bridesmaid and wanted to be?
  • Should I make someone a bridesmaid who had me as a bridesmaid at her wedding?
  • What if a friend from my childhood gets offended I don’t ask her?

Find out the answers to these questions and more below with our five tips on how to choose bridesmaids!


Blood Is Thicker

Whenever you are considering who to invite, consider family first. Any woman in her right mind would understand the excuse “I’ll upset my in-laws if not…” or “My sister would be so hurt if I didn’t ask her.” If they are truly your friend, they will understand. Additionally, you should always consider asking any future sister-in-law, even if you aren’t on the best of terms. This is because you need to understand that not only will inviting an in-law give your massive bargaining power for later, but it can seriously help mend any previous issues and solidify a strong bond between you and your new family.

More Is NOT Better

While a perfect solution would be just to have eight or nine bridesmaids to avoid hurt feelings, this not only exemplifies your strong conflict avoidance tendencies, but it also is a horrible idea for any bride on a budget. Imagine trying to get a whole gaggle of women to agree on one dress for all of them? Additionally, imagine how much those bridal bouquets are going to cost! Eek no thank you!

Quid Pro Quo Does Not Apply

Just because you were invited to be a bridesmaid for a friend’s wedding, does not mean she automatically gets a spot in your limited bridal party. Not only will she likely not expect it, but she will more than likely never approach you with her wishes. Remember, this is *your* wedding and your bridesmaids will each play a crucial role. If she does not fit, then do not include her.

Location Matters

Thanks to social media sites and unlimited texting plans, it is now easier than ever to maintain those close high school and college friendships. Unfortunately most people move after their schooling years before they settle down, making it quite possible that you will have a friend or two coming from out of state (if not further!). This means that, while they may have been a perfect candidate for your bridal party, you need to consider how they will help. If they have a busy life, or simply are too far away to really help much, then maybe ask them to play another important role in your wedding and give the position to someone else who can truly help you plan and organize!

Formal Vs Non-formal Weddings

If you are trying to decide how to choose bridesmaids, then perhaps consider the type of wedding you are having. If you are planning your own wedding then you should already know how many guests you approximately having. If you are planning a large formal wedding, then a larger bridal party is often expected. On the flip side, if you are planning a non-formal wedding, then a bridal party with ten bridesmaids will look slightly absurd. Consider how many guests you are having and try to maintain a bridal party that is proportionate to the guests (around 1-2 bridesmaids per 50 guests).

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One comment

  1. Alisha Mae says:

    Right I defo understand blood is thicker when it comes to asking people to be bridesmaids, but what if your future sister in law is a giant b*tch?!

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