Those who wish to make their wedding ceremony a bit more personal by saying their own vows often don’t realize the magnitude of the task they are setting out to do. Writing your own vows is a complex combination of poetry, public speaking, and letting your deepest emotions out for all to hear all at once. While, for some, knowing how to write wedding vows may come as naturally to them as breathing, others find it a complex and difficult task that needs to be tackled one step at a time.
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Steps on how to write wedding vows
Step One – Clearance
While many wedding officials allow for separate vows to be read, it is always best to check first. Some don’t, and others need to be instructed of it well ahead of time so they are aware of the day of arrangements!
Step Two – Get a head start
Don’t wait till a few days before your wedding to start on your vows because, unfortunately, you are likely going to be so stressed and worried that inspiration may not be easy to find. Instead, begin jotting down ideas several months ahead of time so you can get it done well in advance and alter it accordingly as the big day approaches.
Step Three – Observe traditions
Another big step for learning how to write wedding vows is to observe traditions that are important to you as a couple. Are you both dedicated religious? If so then check to your religious texts for some inspiration and ideas to branch off.
Step Four – Mind your tone
Your tone is going to be paramount to how your message is conveyed. While writing something humorous can be great for a few laughs, make sure that you reign it back a bit to convey the depth and importance of the moment to your partner. Other tons can be poetic and romantic, or even reminiscent of the past and storytelling – bringing up a fond memory and using that to highlight the relationship. Whatever tone you use, make sure that it conveys your message properly and that it is from your heart!
Step Five – Consult your partner
Your partner isn’t a mind reader, and may not actually know you are doing your own vows at first. Check with your partner and make sure that you both are okay to read your vows to each other!
Step Six – Set a date
If you are looking for some inspiration, then a great way to get some is to set aside a date with your partner to just relax, reminisce over how you first met, how you fell in love, and perhaps even look over old photos. This should give some great inspiration for both and will bring back some fond memories that truly highlight the depth of your relationship.
Step Seven – Get time alone
Whether it’s after your vow date, or simply a night when your partner is at work, those who want to learn how to write wedding vows have always found that some alone time to think is the perfect setting for vow writing. Grab a glass of wine, some takeaway food, pen, and some paper for your night in and really put some thought into your vows!
Step Eight – Feel free to borrow
Often, people who are looking for how to write wedding vows, they feel that their vows must be entirely original. While it is true, you should definitely personalize your vows and make them unique to your relationship and how you feel towards your partner, they are not some high school paper that is going to be graded. Plagiarizing a bit on your vows is definitely recommended for those who need a springboard to start on. Additionally incorporating a poem or quote that means something to you both can truly add a polished and heartfelt touch to your vows.
Step Nine – Mind your time
Your vows should not be some quick five second reading; however there is no reason to drag your friends and family members on for a several hour long ordeal. Keeping your vows to a minute maximum when read out loud is around the perfect length. You’d be surprised at what you can say in a whole minute, and it will also help you narrow down your choices to some meaningful sentences that truly make an impact.
Step Ten – Say it out loud
For those who want to learn how to write wedding vows, the idea that you should say them out loud may sound silly, but it definitely helps! You would be surprised at how many little words you catch that are not only awkward to pronounce, but simply sound weird when phrased together. Additionally, you want your vows to have a great flow, and you can judge how well they impact people by reading it to friends or family ahead of time.
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