Wedding Invitation dilemmas – to invite or not to invite?

not inviting someone to your wedding

How To Handle Not Inviting Certain Wedding Guests

One of the biggest problems couples have when planning a wedding is budget constraints. No couple wants to end up thirty grand in debt before they’re even hitched, however it’s also difficult to avoid over planning and over inviting. So what do you do when you need to wean down your guest list?

It’s understandable for couples with large families to feel obligated to invite everyone, however sometimes it’s just not possible. Whether it’s due to budget constraints, or you simply want a smaller wedding without everyone and their brother invited, dealing with potentially hurt feelings from a lack of an invite can be a difficult thing.

So what can you do?

Wedding Invitation Dilemma Solved

First, it’s important to understand that you are NOT obligated to invite anyone at all, so don’t feel pressured into it. It’s a courtesy that some people come; however it is 100% your wedding and you have every right to decide who is and isn’t on the guest list.

Next, if you’re dealing with a lower budget or space constraint, first work out how many people you’re able to have come to the wedding. Then get together with your fiancé and work out a descending list of the most important people starting with those who “must” be in the wedding (parents, wedding party members, siblings, best friends). Once you have that list, you can put those who aren’t as important (such as that second cousin you’ve only met a few times at family barbeques), and ensure that those who you want and need to come will come. This provides a great cutoff tool to visually show you who is and isn’t coming, and allows you to alter arrangements of names to suit your needs.

Once you’ve labeled the invites and sent them out, it’s important to understand that there will be some people who weren’t invited that are upset. This may be because they are not fully aware of your budget/space difficulties, so it is courteous to either call them up or write them a letter explaining the reasons why they can’t come and how you wish that things would be different.

Including The Uninvited

A great way to diffuse hurt feelings and potential resentment from not being invited to your wedding is to include those people in the pre/post wedding events. Ensure that your engagement party or rehearsal dinner meal includes these individuals, or even consider having a post wedding gathering after your honeymoon. Post wedding parties are a great way to celebrate officially as a married couple and to show off wedding photos/honeymoon photos as well!

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